There is always a million things to do in an average day, especially with a child. Parents getting ready in the morning always have ten thousand thoughts of what needs to be accomplished in a day. Often times, parents feel exhausted and burnt out by the end of the day, when their to-do list looks less productive than they anticipated.

That’s okay.

I have had a running to-do list for months now, but at least the important stuff is getting accomplished and I’ve taken time for myself. I always dreamed I would be the mom who can fit in some meditation, read a book, journal every night. But the reality is, I just don’t have time for all that. On top of going to work, attending school, and being a single mom. I don’t always have time to dedicate to myself. That doesn’t mean that I don’t make time for self-care though.

Self-care never looks the same for every person, and it shouldn’t. Self-care isn’t just being able to sit and watch the football game, or taking a long bubble bath with candles and bath bombs. Sometimes it’s being able to take a nice, hot, uninterrupted shower. Self-care can be anything that helps you calm your mind from the busy day.

If meditation sounds like the right thing for you, but you can’t imagine your kids allowing you 15 minutes of quiet and stillness, that’s okay. I find that the perfect time for meditation is right before I go to bed. Meditation does not have to look like a fancy yoga mat, incense filling the air, and the soft sound of Tibetan singing bowls in the background. If you can manage that setup, I envy you, but it’s just not practical for me. What is practical, is white noise playing on my phone quietly, and me snuggled up in my comforter in my pjs. Just before I go to bed, I take time to clear my mind of the day. A few deep breaths and focusing on releasing tension from each part of my body, starting from my toes all the way to the top of my head. If you can, throw in some “Om”s. Feel the vibration of your body as the sound escapes your lips. Take some slow deep breaths. Focus on the feel of the air entering your lungs, filling them up, and then releasing the air slowly. Sometimes I fall asleep, but that’s okay. I took some time to let go of the day before the next one begins.

If bedtime isn’t a good time for you, even taking a second while you’re waiting in line at the grocery store, close your eyes, take a couple deep breaths and focus on releasing the tension in your body. You may be surprised at how much you carry in your shoulders and your fists unknowingly.

Meditation is about taking the time to slow down. Acknowledge the breaths you take and let go of some of the tension. Take a deep breath and count to 10. Even if that 10 seconds is all the time you have for yourself today, its 10 seconds more than you gave yourself yesterday.